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How to Stop the Habit of Complaining About Your Life

It’s almost a pleasurable thing – complaining about your life. It’s sometimes even cathartic.

It usually starts happening when you’re hanging out with your friends and you’ve got that down look to your face. Someone asks what’s wrong and you say nothing and through a little more coaxing, you’re more than ready to vomit everything that’s wrong with your life. Then the person next to you says something to the effect of “if you think that’s bad, wait till you hear what’s wrong with my life” and then the complain comparison game goes into full effect.

The end result is a bunch of people sad about their life, depressed, anxious, and feeling helpless about it. Rinse and repeat for the rest of their natural born lives.

The first thing to realize in order to put a stop this destructive habit is to understand that whatever you focus on expands.

You start to complain, then that act starts to expand by you finding even more things to complain about in your life. Your focus then goes onto the new complaints and it expands even more and then you get all these negative mentions coming into the mix – anger, fear, worry, etc. and these negative emotions start to penetrate into the subconscious and take root there.

They then start to filter your eyes to only show you only the things that go wrong in your life in order to provide you with more fodder to complain about and blind your eyes to the opportunities to help fix it in the process.

You have to realize how the snowball process works and how easy it is to fall into it and how dangerous it can really get.

But the great thing about this is that it’s a natural system in the sense it will work with any ingredient you put in it.

Most people choose to put the ingredient of complaints in it, but you can make the conscious decision to put something else in it.

Focus on the great things in life and remember, whatever you focus on expands so if you keep focusing on the great things in your life, you’ll find even more great things in your life and your focus will go on those newly discovered great things in your life and then you get all these positive emotions coming into the mix – the feeling of being blessed, gratitude, hope, etc., and all these positive emotions start to penetrate into the subconscious and take root there.

You then, take it a step further by focusing on what you want, not what you don’t want.

Remember, focus on what you want, and that starts to expand. Your mind will then open your eyes to opportunities to help get what you want. Take advantage of those opportunities and whenever you make progress and get small victories, celebrate those victories, no matter how small they may seem.

Celebrate your progress and focus in on it, and it will expand in the form of helping you generate more momentum to help you achieve even more victories and the cycle will then start to engage in your favor.

You need to reinforce what you want to see more of in your life.

You want more great things and progress - focus in on the great things in your life and the progress you’re making to get what you want.

When you take this two prong approach to stop the habit of complaining about your life by focusing on the great things and by focusing on what you want, you’ll soon find that there’s nothing to really complain about and that life just keeps on getting better and better as time goes by and that you’ll start having that feeling of control and empowerment in your life to the point where nothing seems out of reach for you.

Complaining about your life is one of the easiest things to do and it acts as a true disservice to you. It robs you of all the things you need to turn your life around.

Focus on the great things in life and what you want out of it, take action toward it, celebrate the progress you make, and you’ll create the habit of loving life instead of doing nothing but complain about it.

10 sizzling ways to get more Traffic to your Blog

In every bloggers life comes a special day - the day they first launch a new blog. Now unless you went out and purchased someone else’’s blog chances are your blog launched with only one very loyal reader - you. Maybe a few days later you received a few hits when you told your sister, father, girlfriend and best friend about your new blog but that’’s about as far you went when it comes to finding readers.Here are the top 10 techniques new bloggers can use to find readers.

These are tips specifically for new bloggers, those people who have next-to-no audience at the moment and want to get the ball rolling.

It helps if you work on this list from top to bottom as each technique builds on the previous step to help you create momentum. Eventually once you establish enough momentum you gain what is called “traction”, which is a large enough audience base (about 500 readers a day is good) that you no longer have to work too hard on finding new readers. Instead your current loyal readers do the work for you through word of mouth.Top 10 Tips

10. Write at least five major “pillar” articles. A pillar article is usually a tutorial style article aimed to teach your audience something. Generally they are longer than 500 words and have lots of very practical tips or advice. This article you are currently reading could be considered a pillar article since it is very practical and a good “how-to” lesson. This style of article has long term appeal, stays current (it isn”t news or time dependent) and offers real value and insight. The more pillars you have on your blog the better.

9. Write one new blog post per day minimum. Not every post has to be a pillar, but you should work on getting those five pillars done at the same time as you keep your blog fresh with a daily news or short article style post. The important thing here is to demonstrate to first time visitors that your blog is updated all the time so they feel that if they come back tomorrow they will likely find something new. This causes them to bookmark your site or subscribe to your blog feed.

You don’t have to produce one post per day all the time but it is important you do when your blog is brand new. Once you get traction you still need to keep the fresh content coming but your loyal audience will be more forgiving if you slow down to a few per week instead. The first few months are critical so the more content you can produce at this time the better.

8. Use a proper domain name. If you are serious about blogging be serious about what you call your blog. In order for people to easily spread the word about your blog you need an easily rememberable domain name. People often talk about blogs they like when they are speaking to friends in the real world (that’’s the offline world, you remember that place right?) so you need to make it easy for them to spread the word and pass on your URL. Try and get a .com if you can and focus on small easy to remember domains rather than worry about having the correct keywords (of course if you can get great keywords and easy to remember then you”ve done a good job!).

7. Start commenting on other blogs. Once you have your pillar articles and your daily fresh smaller articles your blog is ready to be exposed to the world. One of the best ways to find the right type of reader for your blog is to comment on other people’’s blogs. You should aim to comment on blogs focused on a similar niche topic to yours since the readers there will be more likely to be interested in your blog.

Most blog commenting systems allow you to have your name/title linked to your blog when you leave a comment. This is how people find your blog. If you are a prolific commentor and always have something valuable to say then people will be interested to read more of your work and hence click through to visit your blog.

6. Trackback and link to other blogs in your blog posts. A trackback is sort of like a blog conversation. When you write a new article to your blog and it links or references another blogger’’s article you can do a trackback to their entry. What this does is leave a truncated summary of your blog post on their blog entry - it’’s sort of like your blog telling someone else’’s blog that you wrote an article mentioning them. Trackbacks often appear like comments.

This is a good technique because like leaving comments a trackback leaves a link from another blog back to yours for readers to follow, but it also does something very important - it gets the attention of another blogger. The other blogger will come and read your post eager to see what you wrote about them. They may then become a loyal reader of yours or at least monitor you and if you are lucky some time down the road they may do a post linking to your blog bringing in more new readers.

5. Encourage comments on your own blog. One of the most powerful ways to convince someone to become a loyal reader is to show there are other loyal readers already following your work. If they see people commenting on your blog then they infer that your content must be good since you have readers so they should stick around and see what all the fuss is about. To encourage comments you can simply pose a question in a blog post. Be sure to always respond to comments as well so you can keep the conversation going.

4. Submit your latest pillar article to a blog carnival. A blog carnival is a post in a blog that summarizes a collection of articles from many different blogs on a specific topic. The idea is to collect some of the best content on a topic in a given week. Often many other blogs link back to a carnival host and as such the people that have articles featured in the carnival enjoy a spike in new readers.

To find the right blog carnival for your blog, do a search at http://blogcarnival.com/.

3. Submit your blog to blogtopsites.com. To be honest this tip is not going to bring in a flood of new readers but it’’s so easy to do and only takes five minutes so it’’s worth the effort. Go to Blog Top Sites, find the appropriate category for your blog and submit it. You have to copy and paste a couple of lines of code on to your blog so you can rank and then sit back and watch the traffic come in. You will probably only get 1-10 incoming readers per day with this technique but over time it can build up as you climb the rankings. It all helps!

2. Submit your articles to EzineArticles.com. This is another tip that doesn”t bring in hundreds of new visitors immediately (although it can if you keep doing it) but it’’s worthwhile because you simply leverage what you already have - your pillar articles. Once a week or so take one of your pillar articles and submit it to Ezine Articles. Your article then becomes available to other people who can republish your article on their website or in their newsletter.

How you benefit is through what is called your “Resource Box”. You create your own resource box which is like a signature file where you include one to two sentences and link back to your website (or blog in this case). Anyone who publishes your article has to include your resource box so you get incoming links. If someone with a large newsletter publishes your article you can get a lot of new readers at once.

1. Write more pillar articles. Everything you do above will help you to find blog readers however all of the techniques I”ve listed only work when you have strong pillars in place. Without them if you do everything above you may bring in readers but they won”t stay or bother to come back. Aim for one solid pillar article per week and by the end of the year you will have a database of over 50 fantastic feature articles that will work hard for you to bring in more and more readers.

This article was by Yaro Starak, a professional blogger and my blog mentor. He is the leader of the Blog Mastermind mentoring program designed to teach bloggers how to earn a full time income blogging part time.

Make Time For You and Improve Your Business

What if you could focus your energies by doing less? What if you could play a little and not feel guilty? What if all work and no play really does make Jack a dull boy?

Most online businesses start with a great amount of struggle. Most entrepreneurs understand it is often the proverbial sweat of their brow that is required if success is going to happen. There is an understanding that networking must take place, but that is often rivaled by the notion that there is a strong need to be self-reliant.

What happens, however, is the brow sweat turns into a raging river as the business owner essentially operates in a place that is often devoid of life enjoyment.

There is obviously a concerted effort to breathe life into an idea, but at some point you need to rescue your own life from slavery to the idea.

Think about all the time you spend just answering emails, the phone or questions from associates. What if you channel all of your activities to constraints in time? For example, what if you set aside very specific times you look at and respond to emails and refuse to look at emails at other times of the day. From personal experience I know emails can eat up the bulk of my day.

What if I wanted to get to the gym or read a book that will help me in business? What if I wanted to take a walk or watch a webinar? What if I wanted to have a social life apart from my business?

The truth is I can and do. So can you.

We can all make time for what we really want to do. If we have a favorite show on television we will watch it. If we really want to know what’s going on in the world we will intentionally pay attention to the news.

For some strange reason when it comes to business we often believe there is no relief from the relentless tyrant known as “Urgency”.

When you compartmentalize your schedule you will find you may have more time to do life-enhancing events that may be disassociated with your business.

By participating in life it is as if the spigot opens up to refill your passion for what you are trying to accomplish in business.

The reality is by enjoying life you can improve your business.

The ’struggle’ of business can be made less difficult by stepping away from the struggle for a period of time. By consistently facing the struggle you can no longer see how to get around the barriers you face. It’s the old, “can’t see the forest for all the trees’ idea. Back up and take a look. Once you see clearly where to go, step around the barrier and move on.

If you don’t take time away for you there will come a melting point where you will either need to take time away involuntarily or you find yourself emotionally incapable of continuing because the candle that has been burning at both ends has finally met in the middle and the flame is extinguished.

Take time for you. Consider it an investment in your company.

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What I’m Thankful For, 2008 Edition

This is a short week for many of us, so this will be a short post.


These are trying times for our country, filled with challenges and uncertainty. If you think about it, such challenging and uncertain times are analogous to what the Pilgrims faced when they landed at Plymouth Rock hundreds of years ago. But they persevered over hardship and took time to be thankful for their blessings, and so will we.


To that end, at a time when one friend or another seems to get laid off weekly, I am grateful that I still have a job. I am also grateful I am able to get health insurance for my family, even though I work a compressed schedule  And I’m thankful we have a new president taking office in January, and hope President-elect Obama’s plans for the country help right the ship.


Finally, I give thanks for my coworkers, many of whom I consider friends, and my family, which increased by one in January. (Happy first Thanksgiving to my son.) .


What are you grateful for this Thanksgiving? Leave a comment below. And enjoy your holiday, no matter where you find yourself this year.


The One Danger To Look Out For When Taking Expert Advice

Taking advice from experts is usually a great strategy. It makes perfect sense. You can certainly learn a lot from them. It’s just that there’s one thing to be aware of.

That the advice “fits” in the stage you’re currently in.

For example, Donald Trump gives a lot of great advice about business and life in general and one of his more famous quoted words goes something like - If you’re going to be thinking, you might as well think big.

The thing is, Donald Trump is at a point in his life where he can think big. He can probably ink a multi million dollar deal simply by picking up the phone, calling the top dog at the biggest publishing office in New York, and pitch his book idea and get a verbal agreement over the phone on his cut of the deal and have his assistants iron out the rest of the details and paperwork.

Now take the average Joe who takes that piece of advice and thinks big by setting a goal of making a million dollars in real estate when first starting out.

He’s sure thinking big, he’s sure taking advice from the real estate king, but nothing’s going to happen.

The problem?

He’s missing out on the process.

I go more in depth on this in my article entitled The Myth of Thinking Big so I won’t go into any detail of that here.

But in terms of the scope of this article, he had a problem of applying advice that’s great for him, later on down the road. It doesn’t really fit in the beginning.

The thing is, when you become an expert, you forget what it’s like to be in the beginning stages. You forget the state of mind that you were in and the advice that worked for you at that stage. Therefore, experts tend to mistakenly give advice that helps them now, in the position they’re currently in, not necessarily advice that helped them in beginning.

But there are a lot of experts who realize this and make sure they will “go back” and see what worked for them and offer advice of that nature. Of course however, if the audience is at or right before the expert’s stage, then they sure can and should give “current” advice.

Take another common example of this in action.

Experts claim the road to financial freedom involves creating multiple streams of income and I agree to a certain extent. But it shouldn’t be the focus from the very start.

The average person will diffuse his/her time, little capital and energy trying to do a lot of things at once rather than focus on one venture. Then after going “deep” on that one venture, he can then leverage everything to create multiple streams of income. Again, I’ve written in more detail about this concept in the two articles listed below so I won’t go into any more details of that here.

The Unstoppable Power of Focus

The Myth of Building Multiple Streams of Passive Income

So given all this, the question that inevitably arises is:

How do you know if you should take a particular piece of advice from an expert?

Well, the next time you run across some advice from an expert, ask yourself – is this practical, will this work for me in my current situation?

If not, then simply file it away to look at in the future when you are in a stage where you can use that information.

If you’re not sure, try it out but if it doesn’t seem to working or if it doesn’t seem to jive with you, save it for later. You’ll learn through experience and gradually get a feel of the kind of advice that “clicks” with your current situation and the kind that will probably “click” later.

Depending on the stage you’re in, there’s certain types of advice that’s going to work particularly for that stage.

For example, working hard is something we’re always told to do. Then, you have some experts coming around and saying instead of working hard, you should work smart. It sounds sexy and appealing because after all, who wants to work hard. Just kick back and work smart – get twice down with half the effort.

But particularly in the beginning of any venture, the potential for working smart is just not there. There’s nothing to leverage with. At the beginning, you should work hard and then as a result of that, you gain leverage so it’s easier for you to work smart because you worked so hard in the beginning. As you progress, you don’t have to work as hard anymore and the ratio switches – you start working smarter and less harder later on down the road without sacrificing quality results in the process.

Different pieces of advice that’s applicable in different stages of a journey.

Again, there’s nothing wrong with taking advice from experts.

You just have to make sure it “fits” with the stage you’re currently in.

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